Whitney Tai | Interview with Lyndsey Parker (LPTV)

Hey there, this is Lindseay Parker for LPTV at Licorice Pizza Records. We're here to celebrate the work and the life of Whitney Tai. You're here uh basically playing your new album, your newest album, American Wasteland. Congratulations on that.

Thank you, Lindsay. It's a pleasure to be here with you today at Licorice Pizza. I am so excited to be finally performing this album in its entirety uh in its fullest production.

So, you've never done that before?

No, I've been playing it acoustic for a couple of years now around the scene. So, it's been nice to just pull it together for a full band performance.

So, uh two-part question. Why haven't you done this previously? And why did you pick Licorice Pizza Records as the the place to do it at?

Well, I think over the last few years, uh because of CO and everything, it was like we were taking whatever gigs we could get. We were playing anywhere at the time and I was still building my band and trying to find the right chemistry of people. Um, and then like every time I would plan a show, uh, someone would get violently ill or the the venue would cancel or like I would be putting together these big shows. You can ask Griffin, my drummer later, like he's been on board for like two years now. We're trying to make a show happen and every then my dad died two years ago and then I had to cancel another show.

So I was like, you know what? What is the universe really telling me right now to like maybe chill and then like I released the record back in September and I was like, okay, I'm going to do a record release show. And then everybody was gone. No one was around. I was like, "All right, I'm doing it for my birthday." And so now I'm having a birthday show slash album release party.

Your birthday today?

Monday. But I'm It's my birthday weekend. So I'm just kind of

make it the month. Birthday month. Well, happy birthday. Thank you for celebrating here. Um, so yeah, I guess we'll get into this for first of all, I guess I'll ask about the title, but also I know that American Wasteland has been sort of described as a concept album, which would make sense that you would want to play it front to back, but I mean, is it a concept album? And if so, what's the concept?

So, American Wasteland began sort of like this subconscious journey into like my own personal uh trials and tribulations uh dealing with abuse and narcissism and just like people in my frame and just situations in my frame that were extremely causing me like mental health issues. And so for a while I was writing this record and I didn't even realize that while I was writing it that I was like working through circumstantial triggers and problems that were around me and I I couldn't my body could feel that there were issues going on but it didn't really know you know like on the outer cortex how to like process those yet and as like things started to come into fuller focus the concepts of which I was dealing with interpersonally started to connect to those uh outer and the outer worlds. So it's like looking at things around us like people around us could treat us like trash. They can manipulate us. They can abuse us. But it's also happening at a larger scale from corporations from you know big tech and um healthcare organizations. And it's just everywhere we look we are being reduced to a piece of waste. And so this album is really just to reclaim that sense of like purity. And and the reason it's a concept album is because the the concept is that we are not intoxicated by the meer. The meer is just a glaze that's over us and it's up to us to remember who we are at the end of it. And that doesn't come without any like without wisdom and like sort of getting yourself dirty in the mud. So that's really how it kept evolving. And American Wasteland, the title track was written at the end of the process of writing this album and it sort of tied it all together because it was like our anthem song. It was like like [ __ ] you.

We're we're yeah we're waste but we're also not waste. And it's like you can you can bury us deep down as you want but we're still going to climb the [ __ ] out. So it was just it felt good to reclaim and tie the record together from it not just being a microcosm but a macrocosm at the same time.

So I Well said. Um, I can't wait to hear American Wasteland. We'll all be like, "Yeah." Um, so you mentioned COVID and things like that, but I my understanding is this record was written between 2021 and 24. So I would assume like just as sort of lockdown stuff was beginning to end, but I know I mean obviously it was a really tumultuous time in the world and in this country still is unfortunately. but also in in your life.

If I do, you did mention that your father passed and you know my condolences on that but that happened during this time right and other things happened

at the end of the record being uh done. So it was like everything was done. It was almost sort of like this chapter close on everything and like my dad he was one of my earliest musical pushers or inspirations to go into music. But he was also one of the most complicated people in my life because of how you know his struggles with alcohol abuse and drugs and how that impacted me as a child and how it caused me to go through a lot of suffering. And so like the there's a song on the record called King of Wands and it at the beginning of the song there's an old voicemail that he left me where like you can hear him kind of guilt tripping me yet again in the voicemail but I put it in there because it's like there's like a sadness. It's like my dad loved me so much, but he was like a victim of his own problems and he could never escape himself. He never worked on himself. Like I feel like our generation is the generation of working on themselves. Cycle breaking and our parents, the boomer generation, are just they're kind of stuck in their ways and they don't know how to like take mental health seriously or

just even see that they're contributing to a larger a problem at large. And so that affected our relationship for many years. But it also like empowered me to like never be like that and to like make sure that if I do do anything in the world that it's with um love and passion and and and tenderness and that I'm not going to fall back into habits that would you know keep me cuz he was an amazing guitar player, amazing musician and he never saw those things through because he was you know stuck in in his issues. So, um, him passing away was almost like I've the the the initial aggregator of my childhood trauma was gone. And it's like in a way like I was really sad, but I was also in a way free because I didn't have to keep being tormented by someone who's currently in my life and still tormenting me day by day.

Were you close at the end, if you don't mind me asking, or how was there closure about all that? There was never closure, but I think there was like an unspoken understanding that my dad knew that he effed up and he just really never got a chance to reclaim our relationship. But I loved I loved him anyway and I showed up to like accept him as he was in those

last, you know, years because I I think he was also realizing the mortality and like the finality of life and that he's getting older and that he's got to reclaim the relationship with me somehow. But I'm fortunate that like, you know, that we we were amicable, but I had to keep my distance just to protect myself cuz it's, as you know, and everybody in the scene knows, dealing with uh substance abusers is really difficult cuz their behaviors are extremely manipulative and narcissistic.

So you it's hard to reason with that when there's constant lying and just so it's like I feel like I've built up such a hard shell around myself like armor throughout my life cuz I've always had to be the parent. I've had to be the mature one, you know, I my sister's special needs. So I had to take care of her when I was a kid and I'm taking care of her again now that he's passed. So it's like my life has been dedicated to just being the strong eldest daughter. And you were a caretaker to your your grandfather as well.

I was a caretaker to my grandfather.

Yeah. And I understand that he um and he has he has he has passed, correct? Your grandfather, but he was sort of the one and my condolences again, but your grandfather was sort of the one like you said that your dad was one of your early musical inspirations. I know there's like this fun story out there that the first thing you ever did was singing Four Non-Blondes What's Up, which is still a very relevant song today when you were age seven with your dad on guitar. So he set you on that path even if he he didn't do everything right. But then it was your grandfather late in his life that sort of encouraged you to pursue your musical dream.

Yep. Um well he was he was very fatherlike to me. So like I felt like there was this like do you know chase your dreams, go after it. Like there was like this love and this nurturing there that I never really got. So like that nurture just like reminded me of who I was. And because I've had to be so hard for most of my childhood, like having that softness and that nurture really reminded me like that I can lay back into my feminine and be myself and I don't have to be so guarded and like running away from what it is that I desire. And it takes time. Like I went to art school. I did architecture. I was practicing that for many years. And that also led me back to music. Like all of those things colliding

reminded me that like music is my true path and I needed to be surrounded by people who loved me in in a way that was gentle and unconditional to like be able to make those choices again. Did was there a specific conversation though where your grandfather like said hey like don't wait like go to LA. You weren't in LA at that time I don't think. Um or basically like go for it you know do it now.

He would say that very often. And he's like, "My dream is to see you perform in Madison Square Garden one day." And he's like, and he loved he just loved when I would sing around the house. And he never got to see me perform live. I was hoping that would happen before he passed. But he's the one who gave me the ability to to chase my dreams because I was in survival mode when I lived in my house. I did not have any way of accessing or having time to do something like that. Um, and so like having the time to be an artist and to and to dig back into music, I was able to just rediscover my purpose. And so I think it's just his everyday slow love that allowed me to just really know what was for me.

Are there any songs on American Wasteland that are about, you know, there's a a nod to your father on the album? Are there any nods to your grandfather on the record? Um, I would say that the closest song that reminds me of my grandfather on the record would be Sequoa's because my grandfather was very gentle and he was he was kind of like that gentle voice of reason, that soft listener, that um that funny little banter that you need to be like shooken up. And like there's a lyric in Sequoia that's like, "Do you see the skyway or do you you know, are you distracted by the the billboards far above the sun?" Like it's kind of just a reminder of like you have this beautiful world in front of you. Why are you looking at the materialisms? Focus on love. Focus on nature. Focus on what matters because all that shit's going to fade. And my grandfather was that. He was like, he really cared about things. He cared about his family. He cared about us. My grandparents, both of them, they were just all about love. And they've lost all their children. So for them to even still be walking around like, you know, statues of love, like after they've everything's been taken away from them inspired me when I was young. And I was like, if they can go through this [ __ ] and still choose to love and show up correctly, then that's a choice we all can make and I'm not going to be a victim of my circumstances.

Yeah. You mentioned, I assume when you said that you lost your children, you're also speaking. I don't if you want to talk about this, but your you lost your mother at a young age. That might have been something that contributed to not being in your feminine or being hard or whatever.

Yes, that definitely contributed to it. Uh my mom was like a tough chick and she was a businesswoman, entrepreneur, artist and for her to go at such a young age and while I was at a young age and my sister was a young age, it definitely changed the way I see the world and the way I approach the world. And I promised myself when I lost her that I was never going to do anything without the utmost purpose and intensity and passion. Even if I have to die for the thing that I love, like I would do it because I don't know when my last day is just like she didn't know hers. And my mom was very healthy. She was athletic. She was positive minded. And you know, she got swept away too soon. But that's why I'm like the music for me is it's everything. And it's the one thing that's saving me right now after all that [ __ ] So,

we're talking a lot about family and some of it's obviously sad, but like you come from you have music and art in your blood, right? I know your dad wasn't a professional musician, but like don't you have like people in your like vaude billions, tap dancers, all sorts of cool lineage?

Yes. Uh my mom's grandfather uh was a vaudeville performer and he was a part of the Bordon's Milk Quartet. So they used to go around the whole country singing as a quartet for Bordon's Milk Company. Um and they he did many vaudeville shows and my grandmother was a tap dancer who used to tap dance with the Markx brothers and so she had you know this show business is in my family so it's but yeah everyone's very musical and my grandfather used to sing lots of weird songs around the house when I was a kid. And I'm like, "Where the [ __ ] are you getting these songs?" Do

you know what songs they were?

No, they were made up. He made up his He was a songwriter in his own right. He just loved making up little diddies. And I'm like, "Wow, these are really, really catchy." Like, he had a way of making little catchy songs. So, it's nice to be around that. So, why did you sort of delay a musical career besides I guess what we've already talked about is maybe you had responsibilities that made it hard, but were there any other reasons why you were sort of a relatively late in life uh professional musician?

Um, it was a couple of things. It's like I didn't grow up in a a neighborhood where that was like there was nobody like there was no community around me that was encouraging that was in Yoners New York.

That's not really, you know, there's not a big music community there. Um, and I, when I was young, I wanted to be a dancer and a figure skater. I had like many passions. Um, but I've always sang, but I think it was like during when I was working for an architecture firm, a friend of mine like kind of re poked me and re reminded me to go back into music. And I started working with a producer in Europe and then my voice like hearing my songs produ produced and understanding what I could do and being shown the capacity of where my music could go like really made me kind of switch something on and go like, "Oh, so I can do this." like I didn't I didn't know what was possible at the time because I didn't have like a fruitful community around me just like showing me what I could do. So, it's like really just having access. I think it's probably why schools should have access to music from a young like my school. We did like plays every year, but it wasn't like a music program. I think I could have benefited from having a more musicdriven community. But you went into architecture. You have a degree, I guess, in that. I mean, I assume you can't just make a house unless you know what you're doing or the house will fall apart. And also design backgrounds. So, like, how does that inform what you're doing now? Cuz obviously you're very visual. You can get into like your videos or the the photographs, even you know, the presentation that you are on stage. Like that had to have fed into how you present yourself now.

Yeah. I I think architecture and music are identical as concepts. They just are applied differently and and but they take the same amount of process. It's like you need to understand harmony and composition and scale and um you need to understand uh density and and and an empty space. And so there's there's so many concepts you use when you're planning uh a space that you would use in a song. All the parts and pieces have to be harmonious. They need to make sure that they're not fighting each other so that each thing can shine on its own. And so like when I'm making songs, I see them like little spaces, little buildings that I have to configure and make everything work. And so that's from the melody to the to the to the chord structure to everything. It all has to flow. The rhythms have to. So I I think at the end of the day people most mediums like whether it's art, um painting, music, architecture, all of it requires the same process to arrive at a beautiful harmonious piece of work. Um and it's subjective too. So that's what's fun about it. You know, you know, there's a million variations on what you can do.

If you put your architecture skills to use, what kind of set would you build if skies was the limit? Like you were playing Madison Square Garden or you were Lady Gaga on tour, you know, she has a crazy set right now that's actually like looks like Roman ruins or something. Like what would you do if you could build like an amazing set? If I was doing my own set, because I'm like a nature buff, like I would probably recreate like an Icelandic land um landscape and just have maybe low-lying fog with like being a blue hour and then maybe lots of stars and cosmos and um you know, beautiful moss strown upon the stage. So, I would really want to just recreate and then bioluminescent objects that are just thrown about, but I'd really love it to feel magical and ethereal. And um obviously the lighting would be almost as if it's, you know, in a winter like kind of wonderland or something. So I could go a million ways with it, but I'd want to keep it more organic.

You ever been to Iceland?

I haven't. It's on my bucket list.

Me, too. I was about to say that. It's my number one place that I want to visit that I haven't gone to yet cuz it looks like another planet from what I see. So that's really cool you mentioned that. Obviously nature is a big besides, you know, this personal stuff and other stuff going on in the world like you're a big nature. I don't know. person. I don't know what. Nature buff.

Nature buff.

Big into animals. Granola girl. I don't know.

Well, I mean, maybe people would look at you and not think granola girl because you're not listening like hippie bohemian attire at the moment. But tell me about that's obviously a theme on this record and definitely with the photography and the videos that you've done with um Joseph Cultist. Joseph Cultist.

Yeah. Tell me about like the whole nature theme that goes through this record and your work in general.

Thanks. Um yeah, I mean it was really fun. And I I kind of had this vision in the beginning that I wanted to be this like modern-day like wasteland Oilia that's like drowning in this disgusting

not like the Taylor Swift. No, no, she didn't kind of get who Oilia was in that song. I'm just saying.

It was a more Rapunzel story in her song. That's true.

But anyway, go on. No, Dister.

Um, yeah, it was just I just really wanted to portray like kind of like the glamour in in the decay. That was really what the concept of the main album covers, the glamour and the decay and how that could be a roose for making for things looking like they're great, which is kind of like that American wasteland thing of like things aren't what they seem. We're suffering out here. We're going through a lot of [ __ ] And you you you know, you slap some latex on it. You make you put some nice lighting and you put some chains and it's like, oh, things may be okay, but it's like not because deep beneath that latex is is a body that's been soaking in dirty water from the LA River for some time. And so I think what ended up happening as we evolved the imagery was that I wanted the closing of the record, which is Sequoa's, which is the bookend song, to be she's restored. She's back in the Ivy. She's pure and she doesn't have to identify with that part of her past anymore. She's she's evolved and she's metamorphosized into something that even she herself could not see because she was so in tarred by like

the the gross [ __ ] beneath her and flowing in from all places. And I think Joey did a really good job at understanding that evolution even just musically because we never really discussed how that was going to take hold. I think he just absorbed these songs for so long and he knew where it was going that we were able to do this sort of AB side where it's like this is this is us at our lowest point where we don't know who we are and this is us reminded again of who we are and how we're never lost. You know, we're just we get we we wander down a path that we shouldn't for some time and it's okay.

The return is what's beautiful. How would you say American Wasteland is different from your previous two records? It's like I wouldn't say it's folk a folky record, but there's maybe more folk elements in it than before.

Yeah, I would say that the first two records are a little bit more electronically driven. Um, and I've always been more of like an alternative grunge sort of artist. And I think it's taken me like a long time to like find my sound or like what it like I know what I love to listen to and I I know what I've been influenced by, but it takes making records to like get closer and closer to who it is you are and what you have to say cuz you're also growing as these albums are happening. You're like going through phases of your own evolution. And so I would say this album is the most me. It's the most organic and rustic and folky. And I love folk music. I'm very inspired by 70s folk music, but I'm also a '9s kid. So, like I love grunge and I love alternative metals. So, like at the end of the day, you put up you you wash a pop sensibility over that from my, you know, my '9s experience. And this is kind of what the amalgamation of this album has become. It's it's it's all my influences. It's the things I love. It's the things I want to sing and perform all wrapped into one. And it I don't feel like there's any compromises on myself in this record. But I I was able to have 100% creative control alongside Tom. So Tom and I were we were able to do this with just our hearts fully in it and there was no ego and no fighting at all. The entire album process was so harmonious that it was amazing. Well, since you mentioned '9s and grunge, I was you set me up perfectly for asking about the Allison Chains cover that you did, Brother, because I believe there's actually a direct

some kind or a direct or indirect Allison Chains connection in terms of um one of the people that played on it.

Yes. Uh my good friend Michael Rosan, uh he's a a pedal steel player for Jerry Cantrell. Um, and so him and I have worked in other capacities like I've recorded with him and produ he's produced me in the beauty and chaos project which is the president of Shector Guitars project. Um, and so Rosan I found out that he plays pedal steel and I was like, "Oh my god, dude. Like you've got to get on this record like and I've seen him perform live um downtown in LA and I he was incredible and I was like I want to I want you to play on these songs." And so we did a session one day and it came out insane and I just loved the outcome and I felt like it was the organic thread that the record needed to like bring you back to some sense of like the Wild West and I I was like I don't know I'm not a country artist but I am a lover of folk and Americana and I was like I want this album to lean in that direction more so.

So, you mentioned Tom. That's Tommy Hats, your producer. And I'm not sure how long you've known each other or how you met. If you want to tell me about that, because it's my understanding that when you first got to started working together, you didn't necessarily plan on making a whole album together. I met uh Tommy through uh Shector Guitars as well and he was also a Shector artist for some time, but we started showing he started showing me some demos back in 2020 and then um he wanted to do something like my song Starfish. He's like, "Oh, I want to see if we can kind of like create a starfish style song." I was like, "Okay, I'll listen to whatever you send me." And then he sent me Perfect Storm. And that became a whole soul pop song and it didn't even go in that direction. And I was like, "Oh, no, Tom. That's not where this song needs to go. We got to take it." He's like, "Oh, okay." I was like, "I want a choir. I want every." He's like, "Okay, this is great." And so, like, we ended up writing that song. And it just became what it is today. But it's funny that like from there, I was like, "Well, let's just keep writing and see where it goes." And I was like, and then after some point, we're like, I think this is be this is an album. I think we're writing an album right now. And we just kept going.

Is he playing with you tonight? Is he here? Yeah, he'll be here.

Awesome. That's so cool. After all the things that you finally get to play the record together. Well, we've been playing it together,

but not in this capacity or in this full

exact context. Well, there's a couple other songs before I let you go so you can finish uh Getting Ready for Your Big Party. Uh there we've talked about a few of your songs on the album, but obviously I want to ask you about Rehea because that's one of the singles and um I think it's I mean all obviously all the songs are important to you, but I feel like this is a particular centerpiece song.

It is. Uh Rehea, you know, it's funny when I was writing this song, Tom goes to me, is this song about your mom? And I was like, I don't know. I was like, I'm not really sure because I thought it was about my breakup really because it's like I've there's there's like a parallel to um being lonely and it's like there are some people that make you feel more lonely when you're with them than when you're alone. And it reminded me of when my mom passed away cuz there was like a strange loneliness that overtakes you when you lose a parent at a young age and it never really goes away. It's like a hole that's driven into the center of your chest and you can't ever fill that hole. So what you do is you just try to live as deeply and passionately as possible. And like over time that hole closes and you you'll be reminded of what that feeling was, but then there's people that come back in that really make you feel more [ __ ] lonely than you actually should feel.

And it was a reminder to me that like I need to surround myself with people who never make me feel alone. And so um Rehea is a broader question of like you know do we belong together Ry? Are we forced to be alone out here forever? Are am I alone by my own design? And do or do I get to choose whether I'm whole already? And so Rehea is uh one of Saturn's moons and poetically like one all the moons are tidily locked around a planet. So their back is always to the darkness and one is always to the to the light. So it's like you finally getting to see the the your moon from both sides. I guess that's a funny way to see it.

And so it's like having a full 360 understanding of like I don't have to have my back anymore to the sun or I don't have have my back to the darkness anymore. I can turn around. I can I don't have to be locked into this position. It's my choice. I can I'm a quantum object in this field and I can make the decision to feel whole again. And then the other question, the other song I wanted to ask about was Slumber Party because I read in one of your other interviews a quote where you said that song had saved your life. So obviously I want to know that story.

Um that Slumber Party is literally just a song about waking up from manipulation. So it's like a lot of people don't really know a lot about manipulative people and how they move through the world and and understanding the nuance of how like cognitive dissonance works. And slumber party really attacks like how we're able to

know our that our body is smart enough to tell us when something is wrong. So it's like so what if we never leave the state of slumber we once believed was our reality. It's like you don't really understand how much control you have over your own mind until you're like kind of pushed to the point of no return where you're at the like the ledge of the cliff and you're like, "Oh [ __ ] I'm I'm alive. I'm here. I'm breathing. I'm I like I don't have to like I can fight back like but it's like being pushed to the edge of a of a of a cliff and then realizing at that final moment like no I don't I can I can wake up and say no and [ __ ] you and I can leave this place. But I think we're also in a state of cognitive dissonance in many situations in our lives where we comply with things that harm us because we it's a familiar feeling. we've been abused in the past and we conf we conflate love with abuse and think that they can be one thing but they're not and they should never be in one sentence together. So it's like slumber party is like telling you to love yourself more and just show up and just say no and you don't have to RSVP.

You can just bounce. You know

the what they call it the Irish goodbye.

Yeah.

I like that. It's our Irish goodbye song.

Awesome. Well, um, obviously there was a lot to unpack with this record and, you know, it was over the course of several years and and going back in the things of your childhood. I imagine it was a very healing process to make this record. What was like your biggest thing you learned about yourself or your life or your past um, while making this record now that you have some distance and you know it's out there in the world?

I would say that I should have been kinder to myself. I should have loved myself more. I should have realized my power and not have it usurped by certain people around me who who maybe were opportunistic.

Um, but I've I try to um implement a sense of care to the people around me, but sometimes it's at my own expense. And I think that I've learned over the years that I'm never going to sacrifice my peace ever again. And so, you know, American Wasteland is my peace. It is the one thing that saved me. It saved me as a record because it reminded me that I already have all the power I need within me and I don't have to look elsewhere to to create or build that reality. It exists in my heart and my soul already.

Yay.

That's a perfect note to end the interview on. I mean, very inspiring.

Before I let you go and and let you perform, um, what else is next for you now that this album are you gonna

is this gonna be a oneoff? Yeah. Are you going to do more like full American Wasteland fronttoback shows?

I plan to bring the wasteland across this [ __ ] country. That's my next thing is I want the wasteland to just become a massive army that overtakes the US, Europe, South America. I want to go everywhere. So, my dream this year is to take this on the road and also to keep writing uh more and doing more collaborations. I have more stuff I'm working on right now with Tommy. We're doing a really cool cover that we're working on. Can't spill it yet, but it's like one of my favorite things I've made. It's very Allison Chains inspired.

So, yeah.

Well, I can't wait to hear that and hear this record live. And yeah, you know, today Licorice Pizza, tomorrow the world. Yes. Starts here. So,

it starts at Licorice Pizza as many things do. So, thank you so much for this um awesome and and conversation. very happy for everything that's going on with you and happy that you uh graced, you know, decide to debut the album as it should be heard right here.

Thank you, Lindsay. It's an honor to speak with you and Licorice Pizza has a place in my heart. It's my local record shop and I wanted it to be something in my in my hometown where I could make a memory and I'm so happy I get to talk about it with you today.

Yeah, I'm happy to talk with you, too. Thanks everybody for for listening and for watching and yeah, you're welcome back anytime.

Thank you. Thanks, everybody.